HOLDING ON Read online

  The doctor notices the bruise and comments, “Okay, you two, I know that things can get heavy during sex, but I highly recommend you refrain from leaving marks behind. Not only during pregnancy, but always. Hickeys, although they seem like a good idea are very bad. It’s essentially causing a blood clot to form at the surface of the skin, and blood clots are never a good thing. So, please, restrain yourself from doing so.” The doctor looks pointedly at me, trying not to smirk.

  “Oh,” Maggie says quickly, “that’s not a hickey, I must’ve, um, bruised myself while, um, working out.”

  The doctor looks at her quizzically and gets back to her examination.

  I’m letting this go for now. If Maggie says it happened during a workout, then that’s what happened. The doctor doesn’t need to make assumptions. This has happened to Maggie quite a few times since we’ve been together. So, it’s not like I’m not used to finding these types of bruises on her.

  “Maggie,” I say looking at her, “maybe it’s time to reduce your workouts so this doesn’t happen anymore. I mean, I know it’s pretty common for you to get these bruises, but maybe, at least while you’re carrying our baby, you should cut your workouts.”

  “I’m not going to stop working out, Carter,” Maggie answers.

  The doctor looks at us again with a strange expression but continues her examination.

  When she gets to Maggie’s abdomen, she lifts the gown a little, looks at me with an expression I can’t decipher, and then puts it back down. She starts feeling around Maggie’s stomach without lifting the gown again. Seeming satisfied with everything, she looks at both of us and smiles awkwardly.

  “Okay, we’re ready for an internal examination,” she says. “Maggie, if you’ll just put your feet into these slots and shift your bottom to the end of the bed as though you are getting a normal gynecological exam, I will get the ultrasound machine ready to take a look at what’s inside.”

  Maggie shifts to the position the doctor asked her to, and stares at the ceiling.

  “Okay, you’re going to feel a little pressure when I insert this,” the doctor tells her, holding up something that looks like a dildo with a condom on it. Internally, I cringe. I imagine that thing won’t be comfortable.

  Maggie just shrugs, seeming nonchalant about everything and continues to gaze at the ceiling.

  I watch the monitor carefully as the doctor moves the stick around, seemingly taking measurements and jotting down whatever she’s seeing. Her face shows concern and I’m wondering if something is wrong, but I don’t want to distract her. I notice multiple spots on the monitor and wonder if something is wrong with Maggie or our baby. It’s hard for me to sit here in silence while the doctor does whatever it is that she’s doing, but I manage to make it through.

  Finally, after a few minutes, the doctor turns to look at us while still holding the dildo looking thing inside of Maggie.

  “So, I was wondering,” she starts.

  That immediately raises my interest and I sit up even straighter in my chair. I notice that at this point, even Maggie seems to have stiffened up and is paying attention to the doctor.

  “Are there any multiples in either of your families?” the doctor asks looking back and forth between Maggie and me.

  “Multiples, what do you mean multiples?” both Maggie and I ask at the same time.

  “Multiples, as in multiple baby pregnancies,” the doctor answers us. “Twins, triplets, or anything the like?”

  I look at Maggie and she looks back at me confused.

  “No,” I answer. “Not that either one of us is aware of.”

  Both Maggie and I are only children. Both of our parents were only children. So, nothing we know about our family line would have any multiple children born at the same time.

  “Does this mean there’s more than one thing inside me?” Maggie screeches.

  Wow, that one even hurt my ears.

  “Maggie, love, calm down,” I tell her and grab her hand again. “Let’s listen to what the doctor has to say before you get yourself worked up.”

  I’m trying to calm her down but deep inside my heart is racing. I had a hard time convincing her to have one child. If she’s having two, I know that will lead to another argument and her possibly not wanting to have our children.

  Wow, children, as in two at one time. This makes my heart happier and more fearful all at once.

  “I’m not having two things, Carter!” Maggie yells. “I already told you this was a one and done, I refuse to have two! You will have to take them out.” Maggie is looking right at the doctor now with a look that screams ‘Do what I say’.

  “Maggie, look at me,” I say in a pacifying tone.

  When she turns to look at me, I swear I see murder in her eyes.

  “Let’s just listen to what the doctor has to say, okay?” I plead. “We don’t know what’s going on yet and I don’t want you to make any rash decisions. Everything will be fine. I promised you, if you had my baby, I would do anything for you. I mean that, love. I love you and my baby, well babies, I’m guessing now, more than anything and I will give you whatever you want. Let’s see what’s going on before you make a decision you can’t take back.”

  I’m scared and I’m pleading, I know. I’ll do anything to have my babies. I’ll resort to begging on my hands and knees if that’s what it’ll take to get Maggie to agree. She can’t take my babies from me. I know it’s her body and we’re not married, so ultimately, it’s her decision to make, but I can’t let that happen. I’ll convince her that this is what she wants, even if it takes my last breath to do so. Before I have a chance to speak any further, the doctor cuts in.

  “Maggie, I can’t do what you are asking at this time,” the doctor explains. “If you are looking to terminate this pregnancy, you would need to make a different appointment. This appointment is only for information and evaluation purposes. For a termination, the procedure takes a lot more time and care and we are not set up for that at the moment. However, if at the end of this appointment, you are resigned to terminate, you can make an appointment with our receptionist for some time next week.”

  The doctor looks at me with sympathetic eyes and says, “Mr. Montgomery, I’m sorry. I’ll step out for a few moments and give you two some time to talk.”

  She removes the wand from Maggie, cleans it up and goes to step out of the room. Before she leaves, she turns to me and holds up three fingers and points to the screen on the monitor while Maggie isn’t looking.

  Holy shit. Three babies. There’s no way in fucking hell Maggie is getting rid of three of my kids. Over my dead body will she do something so egregious. If I have to tie her down and lock her in the basement, I will.

  I shift my gaze to the monitor and notice three circles surrounding three little dots on the screen. Tears come to my eyes as I realize that those are my babies, right there in front of me. I can’t lose those precious babies. With everything in me, I’m going to make this work!

  “Maggie, look at me,” I start. “I want these babies. I’ll do anything you ask if you’ll just have these babies for me. You want to have surgery so you can’t have any more kids after this, fine, it’s done. You want plastic surgery to repair any stretch marks or scars you’ll get from having these babies, consider it done. Anything, Mags, anything, and it’s yours. You want me to hire a nanny for you, I’ll start looking tomorrow. But Maggie, I can’t let you terminate this pregnancy, promise me, you won’t do this to me, to us, to them.”

  I finish that last statement while pointing to the screen. Tears are running down my face just imagining not being able to ever hold my children.

  Maggie finally looks at the screen and turns white as a ghost. I’ve heard the expression said millions of times, but actually witnessing it happen is unreal.

  “Three?” she whispers. “Three of them. No, no, no. There’s no way. Three bowling balls stretching my stomach. Do you know what that’ll do to my skin? Oh, no. No way. Nuh-uh, not happening. O
h my God, what have you done? No, I just can’t.”

  She’s crying harder now. Pathetically, this actually gives me hope as she stares at the screen crying. I’m sitting here believing with all hope that maybe seeing the babies have her changing her mind.

  “I’m making the appointment, Carter, you can’t stop me.”

  I get down on my knees and take both of Maggie’s hands into mine. I’m begging now, no doubt about it.

  “Please Maggie, the world, baby, don’t do this, you can have the world,” I sob as the words come out of my mouth. “They mean everything to me, don’t do this, please, please, please, Maggie. I’m begging you. I’ll give up everything for you to give me those babies.”

  Maggie looks at me hard. Then, something like resolve comes over her and I see a smile come to her lips.

  “Fine, Carter,” she relents. “You can have your demons, but I guarantee, you will rue the day you made me do this. Now, get out!”

  I get to my feet and got to kiss Maggie on the head. She yanks herself away from me before I even reach her.

  “Thank you, Maggie,” I cry. “You won’t regret this, I promise. I love you.”

  I turn and grab the door, taking one last peek at the monitor before I walk out. As the door shuts behind me, I hear Maggie say, “Oh, I won’t regret this, but you sure will, Carter, I promise you that.”

  CHAPTER THREE

  CARTER

  TRYING TO HOLD ON

  WHEN I LEFT the doctor’s office after finding out we were having triplets, I had expected Maggie’s attitude toward me to get worse. Especially after I heard her parting words.

  As soon as I walked out of the exam room, the doctor was waiting outside the door for me. She handed me a sleeve of pictures she took while doing the examination and I thanked her for them. She informed me that if Maggie was going through with the pregnancy, she would need to be considered high-risk and that she would need to have appointments more often than if this was a single pregnancy. I guess we did need this doctor afterall.

  I walked back up front to the reception area and worked with the receptionist on the appointments Maggie would need for the remainder of the pregnancy. After that was all ironed out, I sat in the chair and waited for Maggie to come out.

  After waiting for more than 10 minutes, I walked back up to the reception desk. “Excuse me, is there a reason that Maggie hasn’t come out yet?” The receptionist gets up from behind the desk and walks to the back to check on Maggie. When she returns, she has a sympathetic look on her face.

  “I’m sorry, Mr. Montgomery, it looks like she went out the back door.”

  “Thank you,” I replied, “I’ll see you in a month.”

  I walked out of the office with my head down, staring at the pictures of my babies. This should be a happy time for me, instead I am feeling an overwhelming sadness.

  When I get home, I am resolute to spend the day with the photo of my babies alone and in agony. My heart is breaking. My family might not happen, and it hurts like no one could believe.

  Next thing I know, Maggie strides into the house with a smile on her face. Surprised, I jump up from the couch and stand there staring at her.

  “Well, I’m home,” she shrugs. “My shit is in the car. Take it to the master bedroom and then move your shit out of there. You’re not staying in my room until we’re married, and yes, we are getting married. Exactly one month from today. Make it happen. I will not sign a prenup, you already told me everything is mine. If you change your mind, so do I and goodbye to these things,” she says as she points to her stomach.

  “Just so we’re clear, you’re going to plan our wedding, the way I want it. I will have everything I dreamed of. Make it happen,” she continues. “Once these are out of me, I’ll have a personal trainer of my choosing, and that spare room needs to be converted to a workout room.”

  I look at her, dumbfounded. This is not what I was expecting from her, after I left that office alone. I expected her to be distant, to walk away from everything, for her to hate me and our children. Instead, she’s standing in front of me telling me we’re actually going to be a family. My heart, I don’t know if it can take any more of this up and down, but she’s here, in my home, telling me she’s giving me everything I want. I’m not going to turn her down.

  “Okay,” I reply. “I’ll do as you ask. I can’t wait for you to be my wife. I can’t wait for you to have our babies and to be a family.”

  Before I walk outside to get her things, she starts to walk up to the bedroom. She turns around and calls my name and I look up at her.

  “By the way,” she says, “you bought me the new Audi Q7 today, thank you.”

  I don’t argue, don’t complain. She obviously thought of the babies when she decided I was buying her the car. It’s efficient and safe and big enough for three car seats when the babies arrive.

  1 MONTH later

  To say the last four weeks have been a whirlwind is an understatement. Maggie seems to have accepted her pregnancy and has fully moved into the master suite at home. Instead of converting the guest bedroom into a workout room as Maggie suggested, I decided to build an addition onto the house instead. Construction is going fast, and Maggie should be able to use that room soon enough. I’ve already hired her a personal trainer that she insisted on having right away instead of waiting until the end of her pregnancy. She’s been working with him a few times a week while I’m at work and tells me he’s exactly what she was looking for. He knows how to handle her body just right, especially since she’s pregnant.

  Maggie is looking as beautiful as ever but won’t let me touch her. She tells me that after I left, the doctor said that because she’s carrying triplets, she should be careful having sexual relationships. Because of that, she’s asked me to refrain from touching her and I’ve respected her wishes.

  It hasn’t been easy, though, I’ll tell you that. Having this sexy as fuck woman living in the same house as me, walking around in nothing but tight workout clothes all the time and knowing she’s carrying my babies, has been a workout on my libido. My poor hands should be hardened with calluses at this point.

  But tonight, tonight will be different.

  Tonight, Maggie will be my wife. She will legally be mine, and we can finally share the same bed. She has promised me that tonight, I can make love to her as husband and wife, as long as I’m careful not to hurt her or the babies. She wants to make sure we consummate the marriage right way. The fact that she is actually considering the babies, makes me fall in love with her even more. I will love her easily and happily, and never forget what she’s doing for us.

  According to the books, Maggie has to be as sexually frustrated as I am. All the specialists claim that pregnancy heightens sexuality, and since it’s been months since we’ve been together, tonight’s looking to be epic.

  My dick hardens just thinking about being able to have Maggie again. He’s suffering, my hand just isn’t enough to get the satisfaction he is used to. He’s used to long workout sessions, beating the shit out of the pussy he likes to call his home. Oh, fucking hell, guess I’m gonna need another shower to relieve the stress before our wedding tonight.

  An hour later, after tugging and working my dick until it is almost raw, I finally get out of the shower, a little more satisfied than when I went in. I’m not completely satisfied, though, but it will have to do for now. If I don’t start to get ready, I’m going to miss my own wedding.

  Maggie stayed at her apartment last night, insisting that I not see the bride before the ceremony. I don’t know why she’s being superstitious now, we’re going about all of this backwards already.

  When I tried to call her last night, she answered the phone all breathy, telling me she was working out and couldn’t cut her workout short, so she’d talk to me tomorrow. I hung up, saddened that I couldn’t talk to my soon-to-be wife before our wedding day. She’s so hung up on working out, I swear that’s all she ever does. Doesn’t she realize she’s already p
erfect to me?

  A knock sounds on my door, and I know it’s Mikael coming to pick me up. He’s my best man and has been a good sounding board and my rock since all this transpired. Sometimes, I don’t know what I’d do without that man by my side.

  Mikael walks straight into my room and looks me up and down. I swear, that man has some gay tendencies sometimes, but hey, I’m not one to judge.

  “Looking almost as good as me,” Mikael says, grabbing the lapels on his tuxedo jacket.

  “Keep telling yourself that, man,” I reply. “I’m the one who gets to marry that gorgeous woman who is having my children today. And I’m the one who gets to bring her home afterwards and fuck her all night. Little cockblockers who will cry at the most inopportune time.”

  Mikael looks at me and starts laughing. “Yeah, you are the lucky one. Shitty diapers for days, months, years to come. Baby puke all over you, the smells, the crying, never mind from one baby, but from three at the same time!” He starts laughing harder now as if it’s all a joke.

  “I can’t wait,” I shrug. It’s like a dream to me. You’ll never find me complaining when it comes to my children. I don’t care how bad they may stink or how many sleepless hours I have. These are my kids and I will do anything for them.

  “Let’s go, Daddy, before you’re late,” Mikael says, humor still painting his voice.

  We walk to the door and I take a moment to look back. When I come back here tonight, I’ll have everything I’ve ever wanted in life—the family I’ve always dreamed of in one quick shot and a wife I will love and cherish for the rest of my life. My life couldn’t be happier or more complete.

  STANDING at the altar with Mikael and the minister, I anxiously wait for my bride to walk down the aisle.

  “You can still back out,” Mikael jokes beside me. Knowing my best friend, he’d get me out of here before anyone could blink.

  “Nah, this is what I want,” I answer him honestly. And it is. I love my bride and can’t wait to show her tonight how much I’ve missed having her in my arms. Thinking dirty thoughts about what will happen when I get her to the honeymoon suite tonight run through my head. I quickly glance over at the minister and smile. I don’t need him to lecture me on having dirty thoughts right now.